kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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