I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
