Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
