My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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