i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
