you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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