So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
