Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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