The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
