I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
