i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize