i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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