Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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