Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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