suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
