Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
