So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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