I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
