I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
