I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
