i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
