You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
