xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
