Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize