hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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