I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sober January is a disaster.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
