Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
