Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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