I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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