"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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