I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
