Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize