drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
