Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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