Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
wow bdsm is so cute
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
