Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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