You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
