I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Randomize
