Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
