Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
