It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
