I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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