Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
