so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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