Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize