fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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