This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
