dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize