tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
