Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is my gift to your gina
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
