Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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