Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
