:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
