ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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