Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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