fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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